Yippie Boys
Holy fucking hell. I was in Santa Cruz the past two days and was the biggest mind slut ever. I didn't even realise I was saying vulgar things out loud until Tevye and Lux pointed it out. Apparently, I was repeatedly saying something along the lines of "wanting to fuck every guy on campus." Oh, and while in earshot of some possible students to boot. But it's chill because everything about that city is chill. (And Alessandro says it's because they all want my poon anyway.) So 'tis all good.
Like, the minute we stepped onto the scene, there was a large crowd of over thirty walking to Oakes that invited to us a party. And one knows when there's any mention of any partying, Lux and Tevye are down, down, down. So we followed the masses in the back. And there, some friendly with Ray Bans and cottonmouth chatted me up about the suspension of his major and the wrongness of the man. And all his friends were saying the same thing until we reached the "party," which turned out to be a mass protest. I swear I fell in love with every boy that moment. But, unfortunately, le party twins got bored and we explored the rest of the city, where we ran into uncool yet hot European boys and racist douchebags. Fun.
Like, the minute we stepped onto the scene, there was a large crowd of over thirty walking to Oakes that invited to us a party. And one knows when there's any mention of any partying, Lux and Tevye are down, down, down. So we followed the masses in the back. And there, some friendly with Ray Bans and cottonmouth chatted me up about the suspension of his major and the wrongness of the man. And all his friends were saying the same thing until we reached the "party," which turned out to be a mass protest. I swear I fell in love with every boy that moment. But, unfortunately, le party twins got bored and we explored the rest of the city, where we ran into uncool yet hot European boys and racist douchebags. Fun.
Lazy + Tired Garbage
1. Been three weeks. Too lazy to update. Currently juggling 50+ boys.
2. Granted a whore’s ultimate wish. Accepted into my dream school.
3. Sven. European model. Wants to fuck. “Never been with an Asian before.”
4. Jesse reconnected. Haven’t seen him since third grade. Meeting up next week.
5. Random boy. Foot fetish. Enough said.
6. Jack. Webcam mishap. Accented mother barging in. Total hilarity.
7. Eames. Mutual friend. Job is feeding llamas. Seriously serious.
8. Watched National Geographic with Elijah. Nothing sexual. Really.
9. "Get out those tits, girls” with Lux. Way too much penis.
10. Feeling like garbage. Sick again.
11. Being a freak-a-zoid. In desperate need of a prom date!
2. Granted a whore’s ultimate wish. Accepted into my dream school.
3. Sven. European model. Wants to fuck. “Never been with an Asian before.”
4. Jesse reconnected. Haven’t seen him since third grade. Meeting up next week.
5. Random boy. Foot fetish. Enough said.
6. Jack. Webcam mishap. Accented mother barging in. Total hilarity.
7. Eames. Mutual friend. Job is feeding llamas. Seriously serious.
8. Watched National Geographic with Elijah. Nothing sexual. Really.
9. "Get out those tits, girls” with Lux. Way too much penis.
10. Feeling like garbage. Sick again.
11. Being a freak-a-zoid. In desperate need of a prom date!
Slut Heaven
Ew. Disgusting. I can’t believe that I wrote that last post. It was as if some juvenile Asian chola decided to zombify my brain. Nasty. On another note, I didn’t break it off with Jude and decided to let it simmer down by itself. That way, I can still watch National Geographic 8” schlong as much as I please until the next good thing comes along. And to turn the whole situation around, I decided I will stay friends with crazy alien Tevye…although, I haven’t told her myself yet but whatever; she can play Rapunzel for a few more days. Anyway, since my PMS is finally over, I met a new group of handsome and friendly (that's all that it is) boys.
1. I’ve been talking to Zane for a while. And although I told myself to stay away from hipsters, he’s black. (It’s almost like finding Woody Guthrie in your bathroom finger-painting!) Way too cool. I mean, the boy djs with actual turntables that’s not hooked up to some white Mac. So for that, I give him total legit kudos. Plus, he’s totally okay with me tagging along with his interracial group of LA skaters. Way nice.
2. Rafe’s almost like Zane’s twin brother from another planet but Mexican. He’s a raver and promoter so he can totally hook it up. Boy’s even already invited me to Beyond Wonderland! So I’m totally loving this connection. It’s an even nine on the Jezebel factor. Total score. (I even have my fingers crossed for a free EDC!)
3. I don’t know what to think of Firth yet. He’s a supposed 18 year old engaged hippie that thinks Matthew Stone is not an artist and but is in love with the big fires, as well as dance and classic rock music. I love? I hate? I don't know.
4. Boy four has the same real name as my brother but for the sake of my blog, I shall call him Quentin, the 18 year old high school junior. So far, our conversations have been just of his guidance on my next hookah choices. He even made a 10 minute youtube video. Intense...So much so I died of boredom.
1. I’ve been talking to Zane for a while. And although I told myself to stay away from hipsters, he’s black. (It’s almost like finding Woody Guthrie in your bathroom finger-painting!) Way too cool. I mean, the boy djs with actual turntables that’s not hooked up to some white Mac. So for that, I give him total legit kudos. Plus, he’s totally okay with me tagging along with his interracial group of LA skaters. Way nice.
2. Rafe’s almost like Zane’s twin brother from another planet but Mexican. He’s a raver and promoter so he can totally hook it up. Boy’s even already invited me to Beyond Wonderland! So I’m totally loving this connection. It’s an even nine on the Jezebel factor. Total score. (I even have my fingers crossed for a free EDC!)
3. I don’t know what to think of Firth yet. He’s a supposed 18 year old engaged hippie that thinks Matthew Stone is not an artist and but is in love with the big fires, as well as dance and classic rock music. I love? I hate? I don't know.
4. Boy four has the same real name as my brother but for the sake of my blog, I shall call him Quentin, the 18 year old high school junior. So far, our conversations have been just of his guidance on my next hookah choices. He even made a 10 minute youtube video. Intense...So much so I died of boredom.
Falling
Shit, I guess, this is it. It’s only been twenty days since Jude and I started talking, and we’ve hit our falling action already. I might as well break it off tomorrow so I don't prolong the inevitable. I mean, Jesus, the boy called me “sista” today. But, I guess, I owe you guys a brief explanation on how we fell apart.
After sending an audio clip of myself doing the deed earlier last week, things became perfectly dandy. So much so that his daily volcano eruptions were more frequent and off the charts. But on Friday, I introduced him to Tevye and white girl Lux through webcam and things began to get a little weird.
The bitch Tevye turned out to be a total boyfriend stealer. And I say “boyfriend” because he asked me to be his significant other previous to my last post, although I politely declined like a total freak that I am. But, anyway, the damn chick was bouncing on my bed and singing that ridiculous “Bedrock” song, as she flashed bits of skin and tried to embarrass me through her middle school mind set. Totally not cool. Especially, when I had her tracked on my site, looking for him the next day.
Luckily, though, I talked to him about her craziness before; so he’s not interested...I hope. (I mean, the girl creates fake profiles on facebook to talk to herself, although she doesn’t realize that anyone knows. Creepy, much?) AND then on the same day, she insulted our five year relationship and Alessandro by bringing back the whole September incident, saying that she missed her friendship with Crazy and would trade anything for it to be last year again. Totally, totally not cool. Whore.
But, whatever, enough of that girl. Things began to drift apart after Saturday when I gave him a facial show and we both orgasmed. But, apparently, that doesn’t mean shit because the next day he said that he was “too exhausted” to do anything. And today, our usual six hour conversations became small talk. Way pathetic.
After sending an audio clip of myself doing the deed earlier last week, things became perfectly dandy. So much so that his daily volcano eruptions were more frequent and off the charts. But on Friday, I introduced him to Tevye and white girl Lux through webcam and things began to get a little weird.
The bitch Tevye turned out to be a total boyfriend stealer. And I say “boyfriend” because he asked me to be his significant other previous to my last post, although I politely declined like a total freak that I am. But, anyway, the damn chick was bouncing on my bed and singing that ridiculous “Bedrock” song, as she flashed bits of skin and tried to embarrass me through her middle school mind set. Totally not cool. Especially, when I had her tracked on my site, looking for him the next day.
Luckily, though, I talked to him about her craziness before; so he’s not interested...I hope. (I mean, the girl creates fake profiles on facebook to talk to herself, although she doesn’t realize that anyone knows. Creepy, much?) AND then on the same day, she insulted our five year relationship and Alessandro by bringing back the whole September incident, saying that she missed her friendship with Crazy and would trade anything for it to be last year again. Totally, totally not cool. Whore.
But, whatever, enough of that girl. Things began to drift apart after Saturday when I gave him a facial show and we both orgasmed. But, apparently, that doesn’t mean shit because the next day he said that he was “too exhausted” to do anything. And today, our usual six hour conversations became small talk. Way pathetic.
Deformed
It has been nine days since my first post and things have changed dramatically. Like, Regina George dramatically. I went from a mass list of over thirty boys to one. Way not healthy. Alessandro says it’s because I’m going soft; so much so that I have turned into a paranoid spastic middle-schooler. Totally not cool. So in order to up my uncoolness factor, I did the two most pathetic—but extremely hot?—things known to man, phone sex and giving a show.
Well, we all know that the first one was coming. I mean, it’s no surprise. Phone sex is just a step away from cybering. I mean, he did already show me his cock a million times. (Yes, it’s Jude. No surprise there either.) So it was a matter of time that I totally reciprocated with my st…st...stutter. Which he said was mad “cute” since he thought that I was getting really hot and heavy. And although that was partly true, the real truth is that I’m just a nervous wreck 24/7.
But when I finally got my new webcam, I was even more of a nervous, spastic wreck. Every conversation would be me trying to multitask by talking to him and doing homework, texting, or whatever. So it was one-sided. Way, way awkward.
So to make it up to him, I attempted to give him a show. Instead, I fumbled with my belt for a whole minute before I just pushed down my dress; and then showed one boob, saying “I think my nipple might be deformed.” But fortunately or unfortunately (I haven’t decided), he didn’t see anything since I was lying on my stomach. So then I quickly said bye and thanked the gods that best friend Tevye decided to video call me at that precise moment. And then we talked about life and stuff, while I covered my half naked body with my deshevled blankets. Way magnificent.
Well, we all know that the first one was coming. I mean, it’s no surprise. Phone sex is just a step away from cybering. I mean, he did already show me his cock a million times. (Yes, it’s Jude. No surprise there either.) So it was a matter of time that I totally reciprocated with my st…st...stutter. Which he said was mad “cute” since he thought that I was getting really hot and heavy. And although that was partly true, the real truth is that I’m just a nervous wreck 24/7.
But when I finally got my new webcam, I was even more of a nervous, spastic wreck. Every conversation would be me trying to multitask by talking to him and doing homework, texting, or whatever. So it was one-sided. Way, way awkward.
So to make it up to him, I attempted to give him a show. Instead, I fumbled with my belt for a whole minute before I just pushed down my dress; and then showed one boob, saying “I think my nipple might be deformed.” But fortunately or unfortunately (I haven’t decided), he didn’t see anything since I was lying on my stomach. So then I quickly said bye and thanked the gods that best friend Tevye decided to video call me at that precise moment. And then we talked about life and stuff, while I covered my half naked body with my deshevled blankets. Way magnificent.
Introduction
Recently, for the past two weeks, I've been talking to more boys than I ever had in my whole entire pathetic seventeen years of life. Cool, right? Just a little. The catch is that it's all mostly been done through the masses of social networking sites, my cell phone, or webcam, not at the parties where I totally slut it up. "Pretty lame." Well, that's what I would have thought about a month ago. It actually happens to be very entertaining, in a good or hilarious way, depending on the situation. But sometimes, it can get really hot. I'll break it down to my five favorite boys so far:
1. The first boy I talked to was Zero. He was a seventeen year old boy with a handsome five o’ clock shadow, trying to make it in the world as an aspiring model slash business entrepreneur with rich boy family problems. But in the end, anyway, everything listed above and especially my ethnic looks ruined everything after two days of cooing texts and calling me “babe.” Lame.
2. This second boy takes the cake and more. But unlike everyone else, I’m going to use his real name since this should be a warning to all my readers. Vincent, or Doctor as he calls himself, was pretty normal. We spent over a week chatting about videogames and other boy junk. Way platonic. The only plus was that he was an emaciated, curly q. (Totally my type.) But one day, actually yesterday, I get a message from him, saying that he wanted to shove an appendage down my throat. I decide to reply with a smiley face, with the pestering of my gay best friend Alessandro. Not a wise move obviously. The next time I heard from him, before I went on internet lockdown on his crazy, was that he wanted me to choke on it. Bestiality, much? No. But close enough for me.
3. Boy three is too cool so I had to include him. And everything is strictly and seriously platonic this time…Although I’m totally suspecting that he’s cheating on his girlfriend but whatever. His name is Allan and he loves to rave and all we do is send each other music and shuffle videos. Totally biffuhl status. You better watch out, Alessandro.
4. I should have left boy number four alone from the start. I mean, really, I hate hipsters; why bother? And he goes to one of the number one party schools in the world! If those two factors didn’t send me any signals, I don’t know what will. So to make a short story even shorter, he wanted me to send some na$ty pictures, which I didn’t, so he called me a fucking tease and left me alone. It was totally like a Dov Charney case. Creepy and douche-like.
5. I saved my favorite for last. Jude. He’s practically perfect in every way. Hair, body, smile, everything. Totally corny but hot. I actually lost my virginity to him three days ago. Well, cybering virginity that is. And he’s the first boy to show me his (HUGE) member. So…really, he’s the only boy I do this kind of thing with although I totally doubt it’s the same on his end, but whatever it’s totally, totally hot. He knows what gets me going and I would like to think that I know him well enough too; especially when he lowers/closes his eyes and begins to breathe heavily. It's amazingly hot. Total dream.
1. The first boy I talked to was Zero. He was a seventeen year old boy with a handsome five o’ clock shadow, trying to make it in the world as an aspiring model slash business entrepreneur with rich boy family problems. But in the end, anyway, everything listed above and especially my ethnic looks ruined everything after two days of cooing texts and calling me “babe.” Lame.
2. This second boy takes the cake and more. But unlike everyone else, I’m going to use his real name since this should be a warning to all my readers. Vincent, or Doctor as he calls himself, was pretty normal. We spent over a week chatting about videogames and other boy junk. Way platonic. The only plus was that he was an emaciated, curly q. (Totally my type.) But one day, actually yesterday, I get a message from him, saying that he wanted to shove an appendage down my throat. I decide to reply with a smiley face, with the pestering of my gay best friend Alessandro. Not a wise move obviously. The next time I heard from him, before I went on internet lockdown on his crazy, was that he wanted me to choke on it. Bestiality, much? No. But close enough for me.
3. Boy three is too cool so I had to include him. And everything is strictly and seriously platonic this time…Although I’m totally suspecting that he’s cheating on his girlfriend but whatever. His name is Allan and he loves to rave and all we do is send each other music and shuffle videos. Totally biffuhl status. You better watch out, Alessandro.
4. I should have left boy number four alone from the start. I mean, really, I hate hipsters; why bother? And he goes to one of the number one party schools in the world! If those two factors didn’t send me any signals, I don’t know what will. So to make a short story even shorter, he wanted me to send some na$ty pictures, which I didn’t, so he called me a fucking tease and left me alone. It was totally like a Dov Charney case. Creepy and douche-like.
5. I saved my favorite for last. Jude. He’s practically perfect in every way. Hair, body, smile, everything. Totally corny but hot. I actually lost my virginity to him three days ago. Well, cybering virginity that is. And he’s the first boy to show me his (HUGE) member. So…really, he’s the only boy I do this kind of thing with although I totally doubt it’s the same on his end, but whatever it’s totally, totally hot. He knows what gets me going and I would like to think that I know him well enough too; especially when he lowers/closes his eyes and begins to breathe heavily. It's amazingly hot. Total dream.
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